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Your Mommy Style – How to Embrace the Mom You Are
Your mothering style may have something to do with your child’s temperament. Is your approach avoidant, permissive, or somewhere in-between? While these factors may not always be immediately obvious, they all have something to do with the dynamics between you and your child. If you’ve ever wondered about your own mothering style, you’re not alone. This is not a unique problem.
Avoid attachment style
One of the most popular attachment styles is the Avoidant Attachment Style (AAS). Despite the name, this style does not refer to the mother you were born to be. It describes the way you relate to your partner. It can be caused by inconsistency, difficult childhoods, work-related distractions or health concerns. These are the most common characteristics of AAS:
People with an Avoidant attachment style are often afraid of intimacy and have switched off their feelings. They don’t love or trust their partner and may be irritated with them or annoyed by their physical appearance. They may avoid attachment and be unpredictable. Some may resort to substance abuse or cheating on their partner. Relationships with people who don’t provide emotional support can also be affected by the AAS.
For adults with an Avoidant Attachment Style, therapy can help. Therapy can help you understand your behavior and develop strategies to deal with negative emotions. The therapy will also help you understand the difference between secure and avoidant attachment styles. To overcome AAS, it is important to identify the root causes and work with them to create a more secure attachment style. In addition, therapy will help you identify your AAS and build self-confidence and positive attachment thought patterns.
For children with an Avoidant Attachment Style, the parent who avoids their child will be emotionally unavailable. Instead of meeting their children’s needs, the avoidant parent will often ignore their child’s demands. The child may even develop pseudo-independence and become independent early on. As a result, he or she may never reach out for help. As a parent, you will have to understand that the avoidant parent is not the best person to nurture a child, but it’s vital to recognize and address these behaviors early.
As an adult, the avoidant parent can appear strong and confident, but they may be suffering and are not trying to hurt their partners. The avoidant parent feels burdened by the lack of emotional closeness. It can also be very difficult for loved ones. In addition to being an Avoidant Parent, your child may have a similar attachment style as you. It’s likely that your child will adopt the Avoidant Attachment Style, which can make parenting a more difficult experience.
Ainsworth also identified Disorganised as a fourth type. This type is a result of severe childhood trauma. Parents with Disorganized Attachment Styles may shift between anxious and avoidant behaviors. They may become upset when their children express joy or happiness, or ignore their child’s pleas for help. If this sounds like your child’s personality, it’s time to start practicing this attachment style.
Mother-child dynamics: Overprotective or permissive
Overprotective parenting style is often accompanied by excessive concern for the safety of the child. Parents who are too protective of their children’s privacy and space are more likely to be intrusive. They discourage their children from taking risks and encourage extreme dependence. These parents consistently display the following symptoms:
Overprotective parenting style aims to protect the child and avoids sharing the child’s opinions and feelings. The child may feel invalidated and unimportant, leading to anxiety over school and overall achievement. This parenting style may include reaching out to your child’s friends. It can make the child feel that they don’t have the right or the freedom to express themselves. While this may seem protective, it is harmful to the child’s development.
The permissive parent, on the other hand is not afraid to set limits and treats the child equally. The child’s nature is paramount and the parent should be able to encourage and reward their individuality. Permissive parents are often overprotective, attempting to protect their child from hurt, rejection, and failure. Permissive parents want their children happy and healthy and to be a positive role model. However, they don’t always know how to balance their parenting styles.